Monday column: Why some people don’t grow old gracefully?

When the world zips past you like an express train, you tend to forget what is important to you. Many would wish they could turn back the clock. Some do make a serious attempt to do so. They turn to plastic surgery and put a few turfs of hair. Getting a facelift is not anymore the leisure of middle aged celebrities.  Quite a few Gulf people, and increasingly ever more, get their faces under the surgical knife. They don’t have to travel far either. Cosmetic experts find it a lucrative business in Iran, India, or even Dubai.

One should question the ethical benefits for cutting out the unwanted loose skin and fats. If it is okay, then why most people do it secretly?

They know it is not acceptable or even wrong. Yet, they do it to catch up with the lost glory. Believe me or not, when some of your friends say they go to Malaysia or Thailand on a long holiday and come back looking leaner on the face, then you can have a reasonable doubt.    

I guess the pressures of being alive can get to some people. The demand of putting up with the present where younger people seem to get all the opportunities can have certain effects. The lost youth, if it is dwelled on for too long, can take the shine out of your present life. It makes a lot of sense, not to mention the crippling stress, to accept the inevitable instead of battling a war that you can never win. Sometimes, an old building that has been clad with marbles on the wall gives it an artificial look hiding its true character.  

I fail to understand how a wrinkle or two should dictate the terms of your life. The world, if you think of it, needs matured people more than the younger generation. How else would we move forward if we are afraid of growing old? Clinging on the past with both hands leaves you with no grip to hold the present. Let it go and enjoy the golden time of your life.

In case we don’t know it, our children don’t need a ‘young looking father’ to compete with them but an experienced elder statesman to guide them. It is as simple as that. To put it crudely, if you go “back in the groove,” as someone had once say to me, years after you have been out of it, you are just managing to embarrass your kids. You are also leaving behind a bad legacy. If you live to be ninety, how could you convince your middle-aged kids not to make a fool of themselves?

There’s a lot of life ahead of you once you hit fifty, or so one sensible man told me years ago. I cannot refute that. You just need to do small adjustments here and there to get used to it.

And I am not talking about visiting the cosmetic clinic or chasing young girls half of your age, either.  There are a lot of sensible things you can do to feel alive. Perhaps I should mention too, older people who chose a variety of intoxications to fight the ageing demons. Life, whether you are young or not, gives you no guarantees, nor any special preferences. You have to accept certain choices within certain limitations. Why wreck your face or fall into bad habits when all you have to do is grow old gracefully.